{ Youre a mean one }

[kiska Hoona]

.x. Sotela .x.

My long fur was swaying in the breeze. My head glued to my paws. The trees sang their usual songs. The birds above me were suspiciously silent. I felt the air getting warmer around me. I rose my head towards the sky, and gasped for air. The whole sky was dark purple. Darker then any purple I have ever seen. It was almost black, combined with dark emerald green. My eyes shifted slightly, and I lept to my feet. My eyes darted everywheres, searching for a sign of shelter. I saw, nothing.

I danced around the clearing where I was resting, trying to find somewheres to shelter myself from the storm upon me. The rain beat against my fur, and suddenly, everything was white. I felt my bones crack as I was thrown into a boulder. I toppled to the ground, and my then it was black.

[/size]

[Kitteh <-]

|&| And when I lost my grip,
And I hit the floor.
Yeah, I thought I could leave,
But couldn't get out the door.
I was so sick n' tired,
Of livin' a lie,
I was wishing that I would die. |&|

"I thought this was a tropical island." I grunted. I was thrown onto this island a mere two months ago and I had coped quite well. The sun was nice, then it started to snow. It didn't usually snow on tropic islands right? Heh.

Icey snow stabbed my face as I trudged face forward in the storm. I could hardly see ahead, and the wind messed my steps. The howl of another dog was clear. The pain in the dog's voice was obvious. I was practically lefted of the ground, yet helping this dog in distress seemed needed.

Of all the dogs I've killed, I never imagined myself saving one. I had no mercy, almost no emotions. However, in these conditions, I pushed myself towards the sound. Then I saw her, she was mangled almost. Blood stained her pelt, and she looked to be in major pain.

I immediatly took action. Without a word, I grabbed her scruff in my mouth and carried her to the nearest shelter. She was a large dog, but I had to do something. We were in a dry den, long since used. I looked sadly at the female, this was out of character for me, but maybe it was needed.

I hesitated, but cleaned the blood from her pelt. There was nothing I could do about the bones, clearly broken and out of place. She seemed tired, I wouldn't say a word. I can not deny the deaths I've caused, but deaths I've saved; this may be the first..

|&| It's amazing.
With the blink of an eye,
You finally see the light.
It's amazing.
That when the moment arrives.
You know you'll be alright.
It's amazing.
And I'm saying a prayer,
For the desperate hearts tonight. |&|

j a x o n

[kiska Hoona]

.x.Sotela.x.

The sun was pouring down across my body, my fur shimering as I ran through the feild. I saw several flickering stars plastered inside my eyelids. The air was thick and warm and I had never felt more free. I ran, and ran. My heart wasnt even pounding against the speed I was running at. It suprised me. I couldnt feel my feet hit the ground. I threw my eyes open and was blinded by the light. The sun, I thought. I kept pulling myself through the long grass. A large fallen tree stuck up out of the grass, and I through myself over it. When I hit the ground, I didnt stop falling. Blackness closed around me. Yelps of pups screached around through the black hole. I didnt stop falling. I couldnt see the entrence of the tunnel I seemed to be falling through. Then, I saw him, Craze.

My eyes flew open. That had to be a dream. But it couldnt! Why the hell would I dream about him, and that pup I loved? I shook my head, only to feel splintering pain swell down my spine. I yelped from the pain. My head lashed back, and I hit it hard on the solid ground. The scents in this den were overwhelming. I wasnt alone. I was with a male. Bernie?! I squirmed to see his face, but all I saw was black. I knew this wasnt Bernie, I was with another male. I couldnt recognize his scent. I felt my throat go dry.

B..b..Bernie?

My heart was thudding in my chest. I was practically immobile. My head was the only thing that I could move. Wait, no, I could feel my front legs. I whimpered softly. This sucked. This sucked badly. My voice cracked as I said it again.

Bernie?

[Kitteh <-]

|&| And when I lost my grip,
And I hit the floor.
Yeah, I thought I could leave,
But couldn't get out the door.
I was so sick n' tired,
Of livin' a lie,
I was wishing that I would die. |&|

She moved while she lay, possibly dying. Her eyes shot up, her face bloody and sad. Bernie? Maybe her mate, maybe. I just didn't know. "No, dear." I said politely. I didn't want to overwhelm the dog who may be dead in mere hours. She was badly hurt. I felt bad, but I quickly shoke it out.

Mother nature kills other dogs and creatures for no reason. It wasn't fair, but it was life. I killed dogs, they usually did something to me. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you." I said quietly, closing my eyes.. the pain she must be going through.

|&| It's amazing.
With the blink of an eye,
You finally see the light.
It's amazing.
That when the moment arrives.
You know you'll be alright.
It's amazing.
And I'm saying a prayer,
For the desperate hearts tonight. |&|

j a x o n

[kiska Hoona]

.x.Sotela.x.

Who are you.


The question was simple. Flat. Unembraced by emotion. It was out of utter curiosity, and of course, to know whether I was wrapped in my own death wish. The light came easier now. With my eyes adjusting to the darkness as each second passed, I managed to paint a picture in my head. He had a beautiful face, his fur long and smooth. His eyes were dark, burnt brown. His pelt of white and black smoldering together. He was beautiful.Since I found Bernie, well since Bernie found me, I had never thought of anyone else in the world as beautiful asides from him. Sure, they had divine features, things I would love to have, but something about them, about their soul, their stories, they were fake. Hideous.

My eyes lowered to my paws. I saw that my own beautiful silky white fur was red, and brown. It was hard and when my tongue touched it, I knew what it was. My new pelt colour; Blood red. I wonder if the AKC would accept that? I laughed at the thought. Then I realized something. I was covered in blood, which likely meant I was injured. I also lay intwined with an unfamiliar male in a den warm enough to melt your fur off, there for, I must be hurt badly, and my spine feels like it was snapped in two, hence, that justifies my case, I am insane. Laughing when I might be on the brink of death. Jeez, I definietly hit my head!

[/size]

[Kitteh <-]

|&| And when I lost my grip,
And I hit the floor.
Yeah, I thought I could leave,
But couldn't get out the door.
I was so sick n' tired,
Of livin' a lie,
I was wishing that I would die. |&|

My eyes shifted. I had saved this blood stained dog, and a thank you, I have not even recieved. For all I care now, she could still be out in the storm, suffering. No, worse; dead. My dark brown eyes met hers for a moment.

"Jaxon." I said quickly, then looked away. Did I dare tell her she might never be the same dog? If she did live, she would probably be disfigured or something. You could always hope for a miracle, but I didn't beleive in that shit.

I sighed as I sat in the den, with a complete stranger, who may not be on this Earth for much longer; a thank you would have been nice...

|&| It's amazing.
With the blink of an eye,
You finally see the light.
It's amazing.
That when the moment arrives.
You know you'll be alright.
It's amazing.
And I'm saying a prayer,
For the desperate hearts tonight. |&|

j a x o n

[kiska Hoona]

.x.Sotela.x.

What happened to me?

[/b]

He probably thought was stupid, not knowng why I was full of blood and in more pain I had ever been in in all my life. I sighed. Where was Bernie? I would love to see his face right now, it would suit the occasion. He only seemed around when I needed him, or I seemed around him when he needed me. I thought back to that day when I was alone on the beach waiting to be slaughtered by an angry mom, and the time when he tried to drown himself. I sighed. This was all so stupid.[/center]

[Kitteh <-]

|&| And when I lost my grip,
And I hit the floor.
Yeah, I thought I could leave,
But couldn't get out the door.
I was so sick n' tired,
Of livin' a lie,
I was wishing that I would die. |&|

How I wanted to be cruel, to blame her for her careless stupidity. How I wanted to take her from her misery. I couldn't tell the pain she was in, but it seemed unbarable. Yet this female, continued to act sane, it deeply confused me.The wind whistled. The storm showed no intentions of dyind down for awhile. It may be days until it'a okay to even leave the den. I sighed, my eyes left the den enterence and met the injured dog's. She asked the question with an obvious answer. I looked at her blood stained pelt for a moment. "The storm got you." I muttered, closing my eyes and wishing that this storm was over. Wishing this storm never happened so I wouldn't have to be here. I often thought about taking her from her misery, but she seemed to be a fighter, as she wasn't dead already.

"Looks like it broke more then half of your bones. Are you feeling okay?" That was a stupid question. Of course, she wasn't. I sighed. What did I get myself into??
|&| It's amazing.
With the blink of an eye,
You finally see the light.
It's amazing.
That when the moment arrives.
You know you'll be alright.
It's amazing.
And I'm saying a prayer,
For the desperate hearts tonight. |&|

j a x o n

[.Bernie.]

I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I've been in love with you.

My heart pounded against my chest as I sauntered on, a irreversible hole in my heart had been filled in with fresh soil, I must seem mean, I have two holes, maybe even three soon. Sotela. The sound tasted dainty upon my tongue. The air around me was salty and damp. The sky a strange colour of ash. The trees a dull green. I wandered on, thinking about things, things that have happened to me, maybe things that will happen soon. Tiredly a sigh escaped my maw and I closed my eyes for the briefest of moments. A shake journeyed across my body.

What am I doing here? Why am I on this earth? Is it so whoever controls or watches me or plays with me can have a joke? Make them self feel better about themselves? My body began to tremble uncomfortably. A shudder ran across my body. I was no superhero, but, oh boy, I can try. I found a tree and curled up beneath it, my nose touching my tail, warm and snug.

I woke to a loud crash, a storm had been raging over head and I hadn’t even been awake. I smelt my mate’s smell and another’s. I sniffed; a brute. An inner pull dragged me to my mate. My mate, my love. Those words, they taste delicious, beautiful. I can’t wait to see her again. I love her. Sotela, I love you. I yelled it out but none would hear for the wind. I followed the scent trail she had left and the cosmic pull inside me. I had been wandering a while we I chanced upon a den, it smelled strongly and this place looked like a good place for my hiding until the wind ceased. It is warm and dry. I am cold and wet so hey, perfect.

I had started to enter when I heard a strange brute speaking. "The storm got you." Who on earth is he talking to? I entered further, my foot fall a dull thud. I looked around it was a disused den. A rather tight fit, for me anyway. I entered the den area and a brute was talking to Sotela, she lay on the floor covered in blood.

”Are you feeling OK?” That’s the most idiotic question I have heard in a while and I come out with a few, or more than a few. I looked at the brute one eyebrow raised. My heart pounded as I saw Sotela, lying there broken and bloodied. What had happened to her? Something inside told that it wasn’t deliberate. I closed my orbs; I didn’t want to lose another. I have two holes and that is exceptionally agonizing. What am I going to do? I can’t lose her, I shook my head, I won’t lose her. I just will not allow it. I don’t want it to happen. I could break down but she needs me and she needs me strong.

Yes, she looks perfectly all right to me. Nothing wrong. I said it somewhat more sarcastically and sardonically than I meant. I called out to Sotela. Telling her I was here and ready to help her. I smiled grimly at the brute and nodded my head in greeting. I didn’t feel strong enough for much else.

I am weak.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that your missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd met,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
So I'm not moving
I'm not moving.

[/blockquote]

[kiska Hoona]

.x.Sotela.x.

[x]Kill the lights,
These children learn from cigarette burns, fast cars, fast women, and cheap drinks,
It feels right,
All these asphyxiated, self-medicated; take the white pill, you'll feel alright,
Kill the lights,
These children learn from cigarette burns, fast cars, fast women, and cheap drinks,
It feels right,
All these asphyxiated, self-medicated--[x]

His voice filled the air. My heart thudded within my chest. He came for me. My love. I had never felt an emotion so pure, so strong. My love for him sprarked into a raging fire. I couldnt contain myself. Bernie, my Bernie had come. I wanted to reach out and lick him, to feel his fur to mine. I wanted him, and only him. I wanted his body, his heart, I wanted everything that pulled him together, sewn into one beautiful organism by taught strings. I whimpered softly, his voice was faded in my pathetic whine. I locked eyes with him.

You came,

Of course he came.Bernie would always come for me. He would always be there, whether in my reach or in just plain spirit. He would be there. I would always be there aswell. I would always be there for him. My love. My aching body drew my attention from him. A shudder of pain rolled up my spine. I shrieked in pain. I had never hurt worse then at this exact second. My blue eyes shot back behind me. Along my back a deep gouge was torn through my flesh.Blood seeped from my wound with every motion I made. The sight of my torn apart body ruined me. I would be paralyzed in the least. I would never be able to give Bernie the oppurtunity to sire a litter. We would never be able to bring our kind into this world. I lowered my head.

I'm, bernie I'm sorry.

I ruined everything. I would ruin him, ruin my self. I didnt have the strength to pull myself together.


I am weak.

[Kitteh <-]

|&| And when I lost my grip,
And I hit the floor.
Yeah, I thought I could leave,
But couldn't get out the door.
I was so sick n' tired,
Of livin' a lie,
I was wishing that I would die. |&|

She had no chance to reply, as another male padded into the already full den. I hesitated, then noticed the way he looked at her, a look of pure love. I sat there, unwilling to speak.

Love, ha. I never could look at it positively. Maybe it was because, I never had any. No one ever gave me love, in which I could return. Love I had viewed from behind the scenes always ended up with one miserable. Death, new loves, accidents, anything could ruin a so call love.

My eyes darted to the male, as he answered the question, that was never to him in the first place, with a sarcastic remark. I saved this bitch’s life, what was it worth to me? Nothing. I couldn’t care less how she dies.

I stepped over the female, and momentarily stood in the door way of the den. I returned a nod to the male, one last unwilling smile to the female, about to leave. “Your welcome.” I grunted, before I found myself back into the storm that had so easily taken practically this female’s life away.

Shelter was what I needed. I let all emotions flow from my body as the wind brushed my pelt. Back to normal, mate.

|&| It's amazing.
With the blink of an eye,
You finally see the light.
It's amazing.
That when the moment arrives.
You know you'll be alright.
It's amazing.
And I'm saying a prayer,
For the desperate hearts tonight. |&|

j a x o n

[.Bernie.]

I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I've been in love with you.

She opened her oral cavity and the words slipped out, I'm, Bernie I'm sorry. Sorry, why are you sorry? I should be sorry, silly; I wasn’t here when you needed me I just plodded along, not a care in the world. You shouldn’t, needn’t be sorry. I looked at her, tenderness in my eyes. I love you, hunny.

The brute turned to leave, I don’t blame him. Our closeness could be quite intimidating, a sigh escaped my maw. What am I going to do? I took a deep breath. You’re welcome. The brute was leaving, I turned to him. I cannot thank you enough, if you ever need a favour. You will always find me here. I flashed a smile at him and turned back to Sotela.

With tenderness in my voice a smile on my face, I whispered to her. Of course I came, silly. I’m here, I will always be right here. Where does it hurt? I looked at her body and could not even begin to imagine the pain she was in. I tried to be bright for her. I’m not moving, I’m staying.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that your missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here to the place that we'd met,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
So I'm not moving
I'm not moving.

[/blockquote]

[kiska Hoona]

The air swept into our small little den. The storm raging outside, making his form a blur. I whimpered, thank you. The words were soft, insecure. He just left and i couldnt even thank him properly. I closed my eyes an sighed. I didnt care, well i did, but I was here with Bernie. My one and only love. The only one who could have my heart. I wanted every single minute left of my life to be spent with him. We had spent so much time apart over the months, never again. Never.

His words were soft and I knew he was trying to lighten me up. Bernie was my life, I would do it for him. I smile pulled at my maw and stretched into a full blown grin, my body aching even at that small motion.

I'm fine my love, I and just a tad..err a bit more sore then normal.

I look deep into his orbs. He eyes ere glistening in the darkness. I stared at him for a few seconds, watching is eyes, searching for a hint that he would realize nothing was fine. Nothing was right. I had a chance at losing my life, I would never see his face again.

Bernie, I might die. i might not get through this. I want you to know you mean more to me then anything on this planet. You are my life. The air I breath, Bernie, if I make it, I want you to always have a peice of me, something to remember me by, I studdered as the last words slipped from my jaws Bernie, I want you to sire my first litter. If anything happened to me, you could always have a peice of me. I never want you to be alone..

I began sobbing and pinned my head into his chest, the pain building as i heaved in the air. He was all I had ever wanted. I loved him.


<ooc- sorry if it takes a few days to reply, im in florida so ya know-