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Post by Spot on Dec 18, 2008 15:19:48 GMT -5
.xx. Rumor .xx..x. oooh...You set my soul alight Glaciers melting in the dead of night And the superstars sucked into the supermassive .x.
I watched his reaction to my name. I never really introduced myself to someone else before, the only ones to know my name were the dogs back in Bronx. Or atleast I thought they knew my name, maybe they forgotten I'd exist. I doubt it, my mother probably reminded them frequently. They probably thought my mother was insane for putting a dog who was hardly around the ones she would be in control of as the heiress. I sighed. Why was I cursed with a stage in life I didn't want to face?
The pup's reaction was that of something like scared or surprised by such a name. Weird. It was just a name, just a word. Did this have more meaning to it then I thought it? I shrugged my shoulders. Although this gave me a new idea to throw fear into everyone. If this dog took surprise by my name and unsureness I was sure I could get other's to act the same and avoid me and be scared of me, exactly what I wanted. I smiled at the thought. I should thank Edward, yeah right he probably thought I as insane or something.
When he moved and lifted his head as he lied there I noticed something I didn't notice before. He only had three legs. My eyes stared curiously at the crippled pup. They were stern and I didn't blink. I wasn't scared or nervous, he was a pup after all. I was just sort of surprised I guess. I didn't suspect it. Afterall I was still young not even a year yet so I still had alot to see and I didn't expect to see this so soon.
This made me think of before with the cougar. The pup got pissy at me because I defended him. Seeing him like this seeing him as a three legged helpless pup how could he even think he could be able to hold his own against a cougar? Did I judge him and think he couldn't do anything? No. I hardly knew Edward. He could probably do anything any other dog could do. I wondered if he was born like this. If he was I guess it would be easier, not so much having to adjust to such a major change in life such as loosing a limb. I cringed and shut my eyes and gritted my teeth together at the thought but then looked at Edward again not concentrating on his missing body part but at his face, reading his expressions to see what they might show. I got nothing. I wish I could read minds right now.
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Post by kiska Hoona on Dec 18, 2008 16:33:54 GMT -5
[xX]Edward[Xx]
My eyes rose slowly. My body was quaking and I couldnt help but whimper as the whiteness made a blanket on the ground. I saw Rumor perring at where my fourth leg should be. She looked intrigued, like anyone else I had ever met. I was a sad sight, that much I knew. My own eyes drifted up to her's. I was shivering ferociously, but I was able to keep my gaze straight. Looking into her eyes was like looking into a pool of water, at my reflection. We were the same in one way, but I saw more similairity then just our eyes.
Rumor, The words were weak, unsure. Why did you save me?
I stared at her, somewhat nevvous for the answer. Perhaps it would be good, or bad. Perhaps she meant to kill me, but took out the cogar before she had the chance. I didnt belive it. [/size]
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Post by Spot on Dec 18, 2008 18:23:27 GMT -5
.xx. Rumor .xx..x. oooh...You set my soul alight Glaciers melting in the dead of night And the superstars sucked into the supermassive .x.
The snow began to fall stronger and stronger. The white weightless flakes landed on my redish nose. I licked my nose everytime a snow flake landed on it. It was a force of habit and it seemed as though I couldn't stop. This was my first winter, my first harsh snow fall. I was atleast huge and fluffy and had ability to keep warm unlike Edward. He was small, helpless, and could freeze to death in an instant. I watch as his body quickly began to shiver non-stop. It was like he couldn't controll it.
I stared at him. I wasn't even shaking an inch. I was completely warm, oblivious to the shivering cold around us. Of course maybe I was just concentrating too hard on what I was looking at, this pup, that I didn't pay attention to my surroundings. I lifted my head back up and I breathed in the cold air and it ran down my throat into my lungs and I let it out as a puff of carbon dixoide smoke came from my nostrils.
His next question hit me, hit me hard. I cringed at the question and didn't look at the pup just forward, straight ahead staring at the forest that lead to this beach as it quickly began to vanish behind the rapidly falling snow flakes blocking the view. Zero was out there somewhere, out here and I lost his scent right now. He didn't want to join me I could tell, because it was winter but he came anyway but I left him in the cold. What a sister I was but what did you suspect? I was sure Zero suspected something like that to happen. It shouldn't be too hard to find him.
I concentrated back on the question. Why did I save Edward? Why? Ok, well thinking back to when the cougar came my excuse was because I didn't want to watch the pup suffer and die unless I was the one who caused the injuries. That was my personality, I couldn't help it. Did I really want to tell the pup this? Why did I care? I wanted people to fear me and run from the sight of me, the sound of me, the scent of me. I wanted the world to think I vanished and was just some ghost that appeared at times. I wanted to cause trouble, cause death. Wow, what a sick mind I had but what would you suspect from my past?
I didn't really have a supporting life. I lived alone in the clan lands of the Bronx given respect I shouldn't recieve. I sighed. I didn't know how to answer the pup. I didn't want to scare him. I felt a connection between him and I could ruin it by a snap of my jaw or my words, either way. I was a young strong bitch but could be very terrifying if given the chance. Edward saw how I acted towards the cougar that was me just be generous to not kill the cougar. If that another dog he would be in shreads. I sighed again.
My gaze finally met with Edward's again. I tried to speak but nothing came out. I felt real small and real lowsy now. Even though I towered over Edward, I felt like a fool, like the size of an ant and Edward could just squish me right now if he wanted. I didn't show it though, I only thought it. I hid my emotions like any other time. I was relieved to know that, that part of me wasn't something that would disappear by the way I felt in the presence of another dog. Maybe it was the other's personality that triggered sudden changes in the way I acted.
A harsh wind blew and hit my pelt. NOw I felt the cold and it sent a shiver down my spine. I shook my body causing snow flakes to quickly brush off my fur. Malamute and husky fur gave me the ability to not have the snow stick to my fur like glue. It just wiped right off, nice.
I figured that Edward was feezing his ass off and might not even last that long out here. Before I could answer his question I quickly grabbed Edward by his neck and ran off the beach through the harsh snow flake walls and into the forest where it wasn't as snowing since the tree's canopys provided a nice room but it was still chilly in here and Edward's shivering didn't stop and caused my mouth to jitter because he was shivering so much and so fast.
The forest ground was covered in snow still. This was a weird island, I swear. I didn't put him down yet. I searched around looking in all directions and getting a scent of anything that might lead me to some shelter. We were still on wanderer's land so I would have to be careful from other dogs. Not that I couldn't take them but the cold might make them more hostile and want a cave shelter or anything that would provide them with an escape from the harsh snow blizzard. I thought myself as lucky being able to handle these conditions without a care in the world.
I caught the scent of an old trail of a dog that passed through him about a few days ago. The scent was old but it the only thing I could find right now that would be useful. I followed the scent and it lead me to where I wanted. It lead me to an abandon cave covered in the over growth of the trees and plants. The roof that was probably usually moss covered was now snow overed and the opening into the cave looked completely black and like an endless abyss. I walked to the opened mouth of the cave and sniffed around the enterance making sure the scents were all old, which they were. It seems training myself for these situations has come more in handy than I thought.
I walked into the cave, all the way into the back and plopped Edward down on the hard rocky and lefty floor. The leaves were probably blown in here during the spring, summer, and fall months and never left. Other animals probably lived in here and dragged in leaves and twigs to make some sort of bed thing. I didn't really see how that could be comfortable but atleast it might help Edward warm up. I was fine but he was shivering like a mad man.
I turned around and walked back to the enterance of the den leaving Edward in the darkness. I didn't want to stay cramped in the end of the dark cave. I much rathered watch the snow fall. I realized that I hadn't answered Edward's question and I still didn't have an answer for it so I only hoped he would forget about it and move on.
My stomach growled but I ignored it for now. I could wait to eat. I laid down on my stomach with my head on my paws and watch with my head sticking out of the enterance of the den as the snow flakes fell from the canopy of the trees. It was rather hypnotizing and eventually I fell into a light sleep but it as really just resting my eyes, I was still full alert.
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Post by kiska Hoona on Dec 18, 2008 19:09:12 GMT -5
[xX]Edward[Xx]
I hung there, limp, grasped between her gentle jaws. My body was quivering ferociously, and it felt like my world was spinning, the ground quaking beneath us. I didn't care that this utter stranger had decided to pick me up between her jaws, when usually, I would be awaiting my death. I trusted her. I felt safe. Like she was treating me as her adopted pup, and she as my suraget mother.
My eyelids were beginning to droop over my orbs just as we entered a deep darkness. It was warmer, the difference quite obvious. I couldn't see anything in the darkness, but I could here her easy breathing, insinque with my own, and I could taste the mustiness in the air surrounding us. This was definitely a cave!
Soon enough, I was rested gently upon a small pile of leaves. I was exhausted. I began to close my eyes, once again, until I heard the sound of Rumor padding to the mouth of the den. I began hyperventilating. She couldn't be leaving me could she? Fear ran through my spine. I pulled myself to my feet as quickly as I could, falling on my side, the side where I am missing a leg. I managed after a second try, to get to my feet, and I pulled myself to the entrance of the den.
I was completely blinded. I had had disabilities in my left eye since birth, and it never really phased me, until now. I imagined the slight haze over my eye. I lowered my head, and instead, depended on scent. I felt her fur. It was warm, her scent sweet. I waddled up towards her face, the light pouring through more clearly now.
Rumor.I whispered. You didn't leave me.
I pranced to her face, and buried my own in her soft, plush coat. And so they call it, puppy love. [/size]
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Post by Spot on Dec 19, 2008 15:13:52 GMT -5
.xx. Rumor .xx..x. oooh...You set my soul alight Glaciers melting in the dead of night And the superstars sucked into the supermassive .x.
Snowflakes. I watched them fall from the dark grey sky. They landed on the hard cold brown ground turning it white. Watching the snowflakes you saw no differences between them, they looked exactly the same until you examined more closely. They were different, each one it's own flake. It was rather weird to believe that even down to the non-living things nothing or no one was the same as the other. However, you looked at the snow flakes indiviualy and saw their independence, you looked at the snow flakes together they all blended it they all wanted to not stand out in the crowd. I related this to us dogs. Every dog was different in their own way, no two dogs or people were alike. However you look at the clans then you see the similiarities. The dogs trying to blend in to fit it and not be judged and go through life under comands. I snorted at the thought. Never would I fall into that trap.
Not that I really had to worry. If I really wanted to be in a clan I had the opening of being the one to give out the orders. I didn't want that. I didn't want the stress of the other's on my shoulders. I didn't want everyone to turn to me when something happens. I wanted them to think on their own. They all had minds and could all had different opinions and views of things but their words were never heard. Maybe once in awhile you would get an open hearted leader who actually cared about the other's opinions. Would I be like one of those? POssibly if everyone in the clan didn't die five minutes into me becoming leader.
I guess though I couldn't really escape it as much as I wanted. Leading was in my blood it would eventually turn into a habit. I already had the habit I guess. I didn't take orders from others. I won't listen. I had my own mind set. But when it came to a debate or conversation my mind was opened to change. Maybe I was too harsh on myself, maybe I would be a good leader.
NO! Never would I be a leader. i wasn't cut out for it. Maybe in years time but I was young and my mother was old. She could be taken down easily by someone my age and strength. I could take her down right now if I chose too. She wouldn't fight me back, not her own daughter. Although she did kill her daughter from her first litter but I think that also went back to who was the father of that pup. No I was the pup of her beloved Craze, she wouldn't kill his flesh and blood as well. However, if they ganged up on me then they might try to kill me but I was heiress either way and Layla knew she wasn't going to be around for ever so if I said I wanted the lead position she would step down with ease. That sort of pissed me off.....
I had a weird mind I will admit. I thought into things too much.
I came out of my daze of thoughts as I heard the hum of little wobble paws coming from the back of the cave. They echoed quite loudly and I heard a plop, which I assumed that Edward fell. I wouldn't blame him. He was just shivering non-stop, uncontrolably and he was laying down for so long his legs would be rather weak at the moment. Funny how I didn't even put the thought of him having only three legs. I didn't think that way. I didn't label him out because he was crippled that way. He seemed perfectly fine with three legs and the fact I didn't even notice it too much should just show he was just a regular dog, like anyone else but he was still different. Going back to what I was thinking about before with the snowflakes. The three legs made him stand out and depending on how you looked at it he would never blend with everyone else. I looked at it as a good thing, but for all I knew it could cause someone to go depressed.
I felt him push into my side as he walked still kinda wobbly. I sighed. I had a feeling this might lead to this. The pup was getting to attached. I didn't want him to get attached to me, I was just going to leave him sooner or later. I wasn't the person he would want to befriend, maybe he trusted me right now and all but with my mind set I was unpredictable. I had good control over my body and all but that wasn't what I was talking about. I killed for pleasure, if he saw me kill someone for nothing it could scar him for life. I sighed again.
He eventually made his way around to my front. I lifted my head off of my paws as he spoke. I sat up on my romp and took my paw and just pushed him gently a few feet away from me. I sighed and closed my eyes, took a deep breath in, let it out and then spoke. "Edward." All I said at first before I hesitated searching for the words.
"Listen, I'm not the person you would want to befriend....." I choked out. I couldn't find my way to say anything else more. I didn't want to give myself away. I wasn't use to huge conversations. I spoke quickly and brief, usually. I didn't give anything away about me to anyone.
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Post by kiska Hoona on Dec 19, 2008 16:59:11 GMT -5
[xX]Edward[Xx]
I could feel the blood rushing around in my head. My eyes began burning. I fell my throat go dry. I searched for a breath. but it wasn't there. It was never there. How could she say those words. How dare she use my name in that sentence. Edward, 'm not the kind of person you want to befriend. Bullshit! Bull fucking shit! I already befriended her. I already offered my soul and entire heart to her. I already loved her. I, I... I already did. I already did.
The burning in my eyes was eased when a few small tear drops fell from them. For once in my life, I felt secure. I felt safe, cared for. I didn't feel, I didn't feel alone. I hated this. I hated my life. I hated myself. I was and still am a stupid bastard. A waste of life, a waste of air. I felt beneath me, my hind legs buckling, and I fell to the ground. It seemed like there was a button on my stomach that triggered my explosive emotions when it ht the ground. Deep, aching sobs escaped me. I lay there, once again, a pathetic excuse for life. Sobbing. Hyperventilating. Hating my guts. Hating her.
The air was thick when I awoke from my sobs. My maw was wet with tears, and I pictured her watching my hysterics with a smug look of amusement. It seemed as though it had been mere minutes that I spent sobbing, but I figured it had been much longer. My eyes burned as they drifted to hers. I, once again, began sobbing. I knew what this meant. [/size]
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Post by Spot on Dec 19, 2008 17:31:09 GMT -5
.xx. Rumor .xx..x. oooh...You set my soul alight Glaciers melting in the dead of night And the superstars sucked into the supermassive .x.
I sighed. I knew this was going to happen. I didn't mean for my words to help but maybe to protect him? I didn't really know. It was the right thing to do. I wasn't one to get attached to people and i wasn't going to start, not now. God. Why did things have to be so diffcult to explain.
I looked down at the weeping hysteric pup. Great. I broken his heart and now he probably hated me. I watched his expressions on his face constantly change from confusion, to anger, to hatred, to sadness. I've saved the pup's life, probably twice. One from the cougar and second from the freezing cold and he already had it tough and now I was throwing him along the curb. Wow, was I a bitch.
I turned away from him. I couldn't look at him. I just stared at the enterance of the cave at the snowing flakes. I took in a deep breath again let it our through my nose. I let through another sigh as I bit my tongue in fustration. I looked back at Edward as I began to talk. "Please don't." I said referring to the crying. "It isn't you in any way. I just wish I could explain...." I did but I didn't want to scare him in anyway. "My life is complicated." I just left it at that for now.
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Post by kiska Hoona on Dec 19, 2008 18:41:25 GMT -5
[xX]Edward[Xx]
Every peice of my heart lay shattered within me. She wouldnt really leave me, would she? I meant more then that. I had to. I lived this long, I had to mean something. My eyes welled up even more when she spoke again. She thought her lfe was messed up? She probably was alone right now by her own choice. She probably had a family. A home. I had nothing. No one.
I promise, The words were flat, though tinted with a hint of sadness. I, I promise I wont slow you down.
I could hear the despair in my voice now. I could taste the blood in my mouth. It was from biting my tongue in fear. Bad habit. had plenty of those. [/size]
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Post by Spot on Dec 19, 2008 19:18:14 GMT -5
.xx. Rumor .xx..x. oooh...You set my soul alight Glaciers melting in the dead of night And the superstars sucked into the supermassive .x.
I felt my heart twist and turn as I saw the pup's expression turn. He took my words the wrong way. I wasn't referring to my past, where I've come from or that I thought my life was depressing or anything he might be thinking. I could tell he took the words wrong. I didn't complain about my life, no I loved my life. What was so complicated right now was trying to understand this pup. Why did he get so worked up about something he barely knew? He didn't know me. Hell, the only thing he knew was my name and that I could fight off cougars. He knew nothing about me like I knew nothing about him, besides his name and he fact he has three legs.
I stood up on all four of my paws as I heard Edward's words. He thought I didn't want him because he would slow me down? Was he refering to the three leg thing? GOd. JUst shows you he didn't know shit about me. I didn't give a damn about his three legs. I didn't think he made him incapable of things other dogs could do. The whole thing with him having three legs was never even on my mind besides when I first met him and saw it.
I began to walk, pacing back and forth in the den thinking. I obviously needed to word things better. He was taking things out of context. This just made everything so much harder. I was bad with words. I couldn't help but just throw a small laugh, not an enjoyment laugh but a laugh as in, 'you really think so?' "You really think this is about you dragging me down?" I already was traveling with someone, my brother Zero. He walked slower than me and obviously wasn't dragging me or slowing me down. I just left him by choice and I kept his scent in my mind so I could find him easily.
"Kid, you have no idea what I mean." I said. It sounded like I was getting a bit nasty but I stopped and calmed myself down before I continued talking. Managing my anger and feelings was something I always kept under control and sometimes if it slipped I paused for a bit and calmed myself down. After I was sure my temper was down and I could talk with no edgyness I continued. "I don't really understand how you could've gotten so attached me to so quickly. You don't even know me besides my name." I said, still pacing, and gave him little confused glances every so often.
"Getting tot he point of you not knowing me. YOu have no idea how I act around things, how I act in general, what is my personality. This I'm young not even a year old yet but my mind works completely different than anyone else my age...." I sighed. It was true. I had the mind of a dog the age of my mother. I slowed down my pacing as I continued to talk. "I'm young, I'm foolish. I make mistakes. I don't always think right. I might usually be stuck in my head and always think through things but there comes a time where I act before I think." I was wording this horribly, so I thought.
My mind went back to the question he asked before we came to the cave. Why did I save him. I stopped in my paces. I stared at my white paws, head low. I turned my head to face his sad face still hanging my head. "You want to know why I saved you?" I gulped. "Because.....well because I didn't want to see you suffering and dying unless I was the one who caused it...." I said as I quickly turned away from Edward. I didn't want to see his expression. Well I gotten my point out and hopefully he would see why it was better off he didn't befriend me or become attached to me so quickly. I probably hurt the pup's feelings and for that my heart ached a bit.
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Post by kiska Hoona on Dec 20, 2008 9:43:01 GMT -5
[xX]Edward[Xx]
All I knew was that I was running. Faster then I'd ever ran before. For a moment, I even question whether my feet were hitting the ground. My eyes were clouded with a wet haze. The cold freesing my tears to my cheeks. My stump was beginning to hurt. There were disadvantages to only having three legs, #1; you cant run fast enough. My eyes werent just watering for being lead on anymore. I was releasing tears, because of frustration. Frustration from being so damn stupid.
Eventually I began to feel the ground beneath my paws, and hear the sound of them hitting the earth with such fury. The tears still streamed down my cheeks, but lighter now. My bresthing slowly grew steady. I could get past this, if I lived long enough. The cold air was thick with white powder. I lowered my head. A scent of another dog hit my nose. I sghed and padded after the trail.
The ground was cold beneath my small body. My head lay limp on my paws. My eyes scanned the surrounding forest. I felt alone. I felt like I was just wating to die. Preferably, it wouldnt be too long before that happened. managed luckily to find a half decent hide out. A small hole beneath a few roots of a pine tree. I whimpered gently as I lay down in the frozen ground. I shant complain. I shant. It will make me weak, like that bitch who led me on. [/size]
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Post by Spot on Dec 20, 2008 9:53:44 GMT -5
.xx. Rumor .xx..x. oooh...You set my soul alight Glaciers melting in the dead of night And the superstars sucked into the supermassive .x.
Great. Way to make me feel like shit. I guess I deserved it though right? I meanyou deserved anything that was thrown at you. Problems that came into your life were only an effect of something that you had done. You are the only one in control of your life.
Edward bolt out of the cave and into the blizzard. I sighed. I tried to not follow but my feet just went into a full run. It didn't take me long to catch up with the pup. He only had three legs and was small so it made it easy. I didn't go up to him though, I fell back and just watched what he did. Probably following him was a bad idea. He might think I was coming after him to kill him. That was why he ran right? He ran because he scared for the reason I saved him. He was scared of me right?
I saw him crawl into a small den of roots and just lay there. I heard his whimper although I didn't know why he was whimpering. I shouldn't be hanging out with this pup. I should be finding Zero make sure he was alright. Not that I was worried he wouldn't be, I knew he could handle his own but ifI was going to keep an alliance with him out here I needed to keep close contact with him and report back to him frequently.
Edward disappeared into the roots of the trees. I came through the bushes and sat feet away from the enterance. If he was scared of me then it wouldn't be good to scare him even more. I sighed. My heart raced, except I think it was just from the running having the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I didn't run much but when I did I went all out, full speed and it took me awhile to recover from the heavy duty my heart pumped. However, I only assumed it was from the running. At this point I couldn't really read my own feelings too well. Maybe another affect of the running?
"I'm sorry..." Was all I could gut out. I didn't look at the little enterance. I would never be able to fit in here, my muzzle would be the only thing that could get enterance. I wasn't thinking of savaging through the den enterance though. I just took the size of the den into consideration for some reason.
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Post by kiska Hoona on Dec 20, 2008 10:05:05 GMT -5
[xX]Edward[Xx]
My paws were bleeding by now. The fact that I often took out my fury on myself ddnt help. I heard her walk up the the den. I sighed. Was she really going to extend my pain. Her voice was flat. Unsincere as far as I was concerned. I am sorry....
Save your lies, it will save me, some pain.
I muttered the words cold heartedly. They were true. She made up her mind. I made up mine. [/size]
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Post by Spot on Dec 20, 2008 10:17:01 GMT -5
.xx. Rumor .xx..x. oooh...You set my soul alight Glaciers melting in the dead of night And the superstars sucked into the supermassive .x.
I sighed at his words. Did he honestly think I was lyingto him. "You seriously think I'm lying?" I said confused holding the anger in my tone back, completely hiding him. I absoulately hated when I was assumed of doing or thinking something I wasn't it. It pissed me off so much, it was like I was going to explode on someone if they accused me of doing something I wasn't.
"You obviously don't know me at all. If it is one thing I am not it is a liar." I said lowing my head down to face my white paws in the white fluffy snow. My tone was getting rather quiet, unusual for my tone of voice. Well, I guess I got what I didn't which was to lose the pup's trust with still so many questions to ask. I suspected it though. I mean look what I did to him. Besides it was for the best this way he could forget about me. Of course I wasn't helping that cause with still being here.
I sighed. "Sure. I did feel that way before when I saw the cougar. It is and who I am. Who I've trained myself to become..." I paused after that line. I trained myself to be who I am today. I did it myself with no one else. I liked who I am but right now I felt like total shit. I snapped out of my thoughts and went back to talking. "But after the cougar left and I actually looked at you my intentions changed and I couldn't believe I thought that way." I said. It was true, I guess.
I cringed at my next thought. "Maybe, maybe we could be friends. I mean it just isn't something I'm use to and you wouldn't understand that unless you knew who I was and where I've come from. Which you could probably learn over time but that doesn't matter right now." I didn't know what I was saying. I was just blabbing on and I needed to stop myself. I bit my tongue before I could speak again. I was talking to much for my own good.
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Post by kiska Hoona on Dec 20, 2008 10:30:20 GMT -5
[xX]Edward[Xx]
I sighed. She thought I didnt know anything about her. I knew enough.
God. For once I feel secure, like maybe, I will have a shoulder to lean on. Someone to believe in. Someone who cares about me, who wants nothng but my well being. For once maybe I would find someone who wouldnt leave me, like my mother. Like my father. Someone who wasnt such a coward to protect me. And then my world is twisted all over again when I think it has all changed for the better, when really, I am just a walking target. I wear my heart on my sleeve, where anyone can rip it away from me, then tear it into shreads. The words were jumbled, falling ontop of one another in a quick, studdered way. I sighed again.
And then you come along. My whole will to live at that point revolves around you. I barely know you, yet I want to love you and be loved by you more then my own life. Yet you fail to see that. It is like you lead me on. Like you saved me from that cougar so you could be the one to make me suffer. And now here I am, you have succeeded. I am suffering. Are you happy?
I kept my face composed, expressionless. My heart, drained. [/size]
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Post by Spot on Dec 20, 2008 10:39:24 GMT -5
.xx. Rumor .xx..x. oooh...You set my soul alight Glaciers melting in the dead of night And the superstars sucked into the supermassive .x.
I gagged at his words and fell to my stomach with my head on my paws. I actually felt the cold in me from the weather this time and I shivered for the first time. I stared emptiessly into the roots, expressionless. I was more fucked up than I thought at this moment and his words proved.
Maybe I was selfish. Well I guess I was, he ran in my blood didn't it? My mother was selfish but did personalitlies really run off genes? It was hard to believe so I didn't even try to believe. I wanted to disconnect myself from my mother, my father. I wouldn't even call them mom or dad to their faces. I didn't give one shit about them. If I was too take a bullet for someone it wouldn't be any of them that was for sure. Maybe I did want them dead. I didn't want people to know I was the daughter of Layla. I didn't want them to make connections of her to me and guess what I was like because they would be wrong.
Was I happy? What a stupid question. I let out a big sigh. "No." I whispered quietly. I wasn't sure if he could here me but I couldn't find the breath to word anything else or even say it louder. Maybe it was best I just leave now and go find Zero. I could forget this in an instant while I was with him and away from Edward. It wasn't hard for me to forget things. I didn't dwell on my past.
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